When do you give up?

When do you give up?

From day one, I've started fighting for myself. I've struggled to breathe as a baby, but here I am today.

I've been left by my own flesh and blood not knowing I only crave for him to be the father he should be.

I've been hit by a fast going motorcycle that didn't even look back to help us.

I've been passed from one place to another in order to escape something I didn't know of.

I've dealt with the growing feeling of depression and anxiety, but I've always pushed it away.

I've been broken by the friends that was supposed to be there for me.

I've been broken by the people I trusted more than I should have.

I've let myself be used as a trophy rather than as a person not knowing what it means for someone to care for me.

I've been set aside because someone will always be better.

I've fallen in love with my best friend who I thought would always be there for me, who I thought wouldn't break his promise, who I thought would listen and guide me. But here I am, unable to sleep because I worry about him, able to wake up in pain just because in my dreams, he always leave or get hurt or be happy without me. Here I am, not knowing where the hell I am going.

But something good always come out by all of those incidents.

When I was dying as a baby, when I got better, I was gifted with a chance.

My father leaving only means I have a strong mother who will always be there.

Accidents made scars for me to remember as a precaution.

I've learned to be independent when it comes to my studies.

I've stayed away from supposed friends and met real ones that would make me smile and help me out.

Depression and anxiety has given me the chance to think outside the box and always think before anything else.

I've always strive to be better for myself and everyone else.

I've fallen in love with the most amazing guy who had given me the most fantastic memories and gift.

But when do I give up? When every bad turns to good but every good always turn to bad?

When the love of my life has left me, the one best thing in my life disappeared, I got hit by a running car in the middle of the highway. I failed a subject that didn't need much studying (didn't fail bec of heartbreak). I lost friends because they all sided with him. I lost my image because I was the bad guy. I lost my best friend. I got scratched, conned, broke my laptop, etc. But something good came out of all those pain, I was given another gift. My salvation, my second chance, my future. But that got stolen away from me to. And there is no one with me that knows I am in so much pain, because the one person that should be with me won't even look at me. So when do I give up? When every good that has come my way has turned into ash? When every good that I've always fought for is now gone? Doesn't that seem like a sign for me to stop fighting for everything already? It's like the universe is giving me hints not to go on, but I'm stubborn as hell and still continue. But maybe, it's time.