Always. To infinity and beyond.

I was brought up in a way that would make one lose hope of the idea of true love and forever. I was raised without a father; therefore, I couldn't really look into my parents' undeniable love and say, "I want that." because it wasn't around. The movies that I watch has the most unrealistic concept of love and I couldn't see that around me in real life. I knew what love was, but I didn't know how to love. Yes, I could say, "I love you" to anyone and actually mean it, but I've never looked at someone's eyes and say those words and think that those three words couldn't really match to what I feel- like those words feel lacking since what I feel is more than that. I couldn't until I got together with Earl.

Now, before Earl, I was a bit of a mess. I had a list of boyfriends before him, and not one of those guys could level up to Earl. Not even if all of them versus Earl. (I'm sorry to any ex boyfriend reading this.)

Seven years. What was I doing for 7 years? First, I didn't actually like Earl in a romantic way. Like I said, I was a mess and he is so good that i just thought to myself that I wasn't worthy of him. For 3 years, he became my best friend who was always there for me when I needed him. He saw me when i was invisible and loved me for every flaw that I have. And that's when I started loving him. He saw me - all of me, and he accepted me. I loved him because he was my best friend. He had done so much for me like riding his bike to my school just to see me. He offered to pay for the money that was stolen from me (I was a treasurer of my class, I didn't accept it of course.) He waited for me all those years. During the start of our relationship, he always make this promise of loving me until the end. Forever. To infinity and beyond. I always laugh at it, because I was unsure since all I knew was heartache and pain. But later on, I started to believe him since he never breaks a promise. And I did. I made a promise to him that i will always love him until the very end. To make it last.

He has given me every possible thing he could. He has shown me the world. He taught me how to love. So how is it possible to unlove someone who taught you how to love?

He knows me better than anyone even myself. And I like to say I know him more than anyone else. He knows every heart aching story, every fight with my mother, every insecurity I have. He knows what I love and don't. He knows my capabilities and weaknesses. Every decision I made, I put him first. I let my whole life and future revolve around him. All I ever want is to make him happy and love him with all that I am. Even if the boy I love no longer loves me back. I'm still going to keep my promise to him. Because this is what he taught me. It's an always for me. No matter what.