Bravery or Stupidity
I was always the kind of friend that pretends I was brave.
Like how in the group watching something scary, I was the one who didn't find it scary.
Like how in the darkness, you'd find me so at home and comfortable.
That's a lie.
Upon going up the stairs during the night, I run up hurriedly as if something was chasing me.
Upon brushing my teeth before I go to bed, I get so fidgity when I see my reflection in the mirror, so afraid I'd see something else.
Upon wanting to go to sleep, but hears the thunder outside and so afraid that if will hit the house.
Upon wanting to go to sleep, but hears the loud heavy bass of music, making an idea that giants has come to get us.
Those were the normal things. It's not much of being brave, but more on how I can get scared.
But did you know I'm not brave enough to go to sleep because I know the nightmares will hunt me?
The nightmares so different but so alike because it always ends up the same.
Did you know I'm not brave enough to wake up, but I have to because of the nightmares and the aching of my heart? I'm not brave enough because I know that I would not be doing something great for another day, I would still be trying to pretend everything was okay when the truth is, nothing was okay.
And did you know I'm not brave enough to permanently do something because I still feel hope?
Stupidity more like it.
At least I'm brave enough to say that I'm always afraid.