What Happens Now?
I stopped needing to study.
Mention my name to anyone who was my classmate, not to be cocky, but they would probably say I did above average in class. People often think I study a lot, but that's not really true. I do great in school because I have nothing going on in my life. Another reason would be I actually listen in class, and I have this theory that if I really tried my best, I would have made amazing grades. But I usually just 'study' when a test or exam is coming up.
When college came, yes, I still did good, but I was enjoying what life offered me. All my life, I did nothing but focus on studying. Not in a way that I focus the act of studying, but in a way that that was the only priority. I had to study. That was my life- have good grades. But I acquired so many amazing things in life when college came. And when all those amazing things started disappearing until I was left with this universe of nothingness, I stopped everything. Friendships, relationships, social connections, and the need to study. I stopped needing to study; since, what am I supposed to get on my studies? I tasted life and adventure already. If I continue pretending I am okay in school, would that get me anywhere? I am unhappy and in constant pain? The need to study is along side that pain. Why am I supposed to do something I am unhappy with? Do I have to continue pretending to myself and everyone else? So what happens now? I have no idea. All I know is, I just stopped needing something I am unhappy with. I just stopped everything.